"Love is a harsh and dreadful thing to ask of us, but it is the only answer."--Dorothy Day



A few days ago I was walking down 6th Avenue, when I saw my life story sitting the window of Barnes & Noble. It was a book called Girls Who Like Boys Who Like Boys. I immediately went into the store to read and buy it.
I have long been well-acquainted with the gay community. Call me what you will--straight ally, friend of the family, friend of a friend of Dorothy, or, my favorite, a S.W.I.S.H. And I have read far and wide about the relationship between a gay man and a straight woman (probably looking for validation), but find only tales of shopping and make-overs, scandalous evenings out, drugs and sex and angst, no sports EVER. But this isn't so much how it's been for me. So when I bought this book I was apprehensive.

The first story is about fashionistas. And though I do have a couple of friends with whom I shop and make commentary on the fashion mistakes of others (those who can't, teach), this is not what these friendships are really about. But the next few stories made me smile at recognizing us in them. The one about the friends that met in college and have been by each others' side ever since. The one about the friends who met through friends, and were instantly an item, working together, applying to grad school together, one allowing the other to cry all over his pillow when this doesn't work out. My stories are a mix of these. And though there are specks of raucous behavior in these stories as well, the sentiment of it, knowing that these relationships are just as important in people's lives as the ones sanctioned by law, is still there and makes me laugh and cry and want to write my own story.

1 comment:

Little Light said...

I certainly appreciate the relationships between gay men and straight women. Historically, gay men were always much quicker to befriend me than straight men so it's no big deal that I've had gay roommates or very good friends who are gay.

(It's also nice to have someone help pick up heavy stuff or walk you down the street when you're not in the mood to be accosted or harrassed (it's amazing how much one man walking next to you can do to keep the jackals on 8th Avenue away)).

What I don't get it why these relationships are so baffling to others when in the end, it's just two people who are good friends.