I found again yesterday that I often cannot see what is right in front of my face. There have been many, many times in my life when I've been telling someone a story, just for the sake of telling a story because that's what I do, and the reaction of this person has made me realize something fundamental about the situation that I had not allowed myself to see. That I am finally content somewhere. That it is important that my birthday is remembered. That I should have somewhere to go for Christmas. That my illness is a big deal. That it is important that I am taken care of. That I am not alone. I'm sure everyone has this feeling, but I feel at times like I am blind. I don't know how to change this. I don't know how to be able to see the forest for the trees. How to understand and be aware of these things without someone telling me. But I guess that's where the whole not being alone thing comes in.