Gesundheit.

In discussing my allergies with someone (who I cannot at the moment recall), it was hypothesized that maybe I am an alien. How else does one explain living on a planet where you are allergic to everything occurring in nature? Seriously, I am not exaggerating. I had allergy testing done again last year and on the list it just said "Trees"--Check; "Grass"--Check, and so on, ticking off every thing occurring naturally on planet Earth, not so much by specific trees and grass, but just knowing that if it's there, I'm allergic to it. I do believe I might even be allergic to myself.

As we speak, NYC is apparently engaged in its worst allergy season on record. Something to do with the winter being too mild and the pollens being release with such ferocity that it could only be a sign of the acopalypse. They will soon have to create another level--High, Very High, and Absurdly F-ing High--to describe what is coming our way. I looked at the Weather.com Allergy Almanac yesterday and can track the severity of my symptoms with the eb and flow of the pollen counts. I would at this point trade my left eye for some good, old, run-of-the-mill sneezing and itchy eyes. Once when I was in high school, there was a day where I sneezed maybe once every thirty seconds...for the entire day. I would take that over what I've got right now, hands down. What I get instead is a headache that pretty much encompasses the entire right side of my body. You're thinking "That sounds serious and like nothing a simple allergy could cause." But, oh, these are no simple allergies we speak of here. These are like Clark-Kent-being-exposed-to-Kryptonite type allergies. So, so sad when pieces of your home seek to destroy you.