"Love is a harsh and dreadful thing to ask of us, but it is the only answer."--Dorothy Day


For Love or Money.

So, as many of you know, I’ve been looking for new job (to those of you who didn’t know, I apologize for not keeping in touch). I really like the work I’m doing but many political/bureaucratic/evil things have begun to plague me. I’ve tried going through all the proper channels and tried all the official stuff, to no avail. And so I’ve started applying for jobs, in part to find a possible new job and in part to give myself some options, so I won’t feel so trapped. I’ve had a few interviews, one of which was today. It was wonderful. I spent an hour and a half talking to the person who would be my supervisor and learning about the position and organization and the staff. All wonderful. I was offered a second interview next week to talk to the executive director and the staff I would be overseeing. Me...Overseeing something. I do like to oversee. So I left there feeling euphoric. Yea, I love this job! And then it hit me…the practicality of it all.

I’m making decent money. I, for the first time, have health insurance and paid vacations. I’ve found a great doctor, who is on my insurance plan. And taking a new job would change all of this. With the job I interviewed for today, I would be making a significantly less money. I would be uninsured for 90 days and then it would a different insurance that I’m not sure my doctor takes. I would have to wait for months and months for another vacation. And I would not be working with people I set out to work with when I became a social worker. I just don’t know which way to go.

I like to think of myself as someone who is driven by passion and love for my work. Someone who doesn’t think of the money, but only of the good that can be done. But now that I’ve had a taste of it, I don’t know that I can let it go. I like being insured and able to pay my bills. Maybe that's enough to make me stay for a while. And yet, along with all of that comes all of the aforementioned problems that will not go away. It’s a vicious, vicious cycle. Will someone please tell me what to do? Please…..

UPDATE: So I had the second interview today. I decided to just let what happens happens. I tend to count my chickens before they hatch and to put all my eggs in one basket, and all the other poultry metaphors. I make great plans and worry great worries over things that might or might not ever happen. The second interview went well today. I met my would-be supervisor on the street when I was coming in and he was happy to see me there. Then I met with the director of the program I would be working for and he conveyed the great things the other guy had said about me, and in the end alluded to wanting to hire me. Then I met with all the staff I would be working with. They a bit of a tough crowd but I feel like I held my own for the most part. But the questions still remain. Can I live on less money? Am I okay with being uninsured for three months? Will the super-long commute destoy me?

UPDATED UPDATE: So I was offered the job and I took it. The Pros seriously outweigh the Cons, in my eyes and in the eyes of those I have consulted. I'll be at my current job until the beginning of April, which is probably just enough time for me to not be able to stand it any, any more. Thank you for your words of wisdom.


RM said...

Hi Casey,

In my limited experience, there is something to be said by the "fit" that you feel when you interview somewhere. If you leave feeling that you want them, they want you, and you would have the support needed to carry out the work you want to do, then that often counts more than money (unless, of course, it means you literally can't pay the bills; then that's another issue). If you're passionate about wanting to work with a certain population, God will provide you the avenue, in whatever form that takes.

Jennifer said...

I am pretty sure I am not the person to ask...I have stayed at my current job far too long because it pays the bills. There is something to be said for taking a risk to do something you want, but for now I am stuck with security.

Although, do you really want to be a lifer?