"Love is a harsh and dreadful thing to ask of us, but it is the only answer."--Dorothy Day

1.19.2006

The Things We Learn From Too Much TV.

I've been sick this week and have thus watched even more TV than my usual. On Tuesday night, I watched two, yes two, episodes of Sex & the City. This is two more episodes than I've ever admitted to watching...ever. (Notice how I say "admitted".) But I learned something from Carrie Bradshaw that night. She was musing about her fabulous New York life and said, "In New York, a girl is always searching for three things. A job, an apartment and a boyfriend. Why is it that two out of three isn't good enough?" "Hey, she's right!" I said to myself.

I have lived in NYC for almost 4 years. When I moved here I gave myself three months. This explains why my dishes are still in my parent's garage. And I think, I've done fairly well for myself. I've got a very nice apartment. The job I set out to get. And a wonderful group of friends. So why isn't this enough? Because this is America...the land of never enough. I know I've tiraded about that before, so I'll stop myself. But this applies in all things, not just monetary ones. I've talked about this with alot of my friends, who are also women from the South. We set out to do things that are not what we grew up being told we were supposed to do. We set career goals and have achieved them. We are enlightened, intelligent women. And yet....

When I turned 25, I had a grand quarter-life crisis, being that I was well-older than any woman in my family had ever been before having committed to her first marriage. I had no children. I did not own any property. I discussed this with one of my friends from high school and she said she had experienced the same thing. She has a very successful career and has yet to be in a place where she felt ready to get married, and yet there is was. 25 and single...a pox on all things Southern.

So I resolved after my second episode, that I will be do my best to be happy with what I have. I have done great things that my grandmother and great-grandmother would been proud of. I have finished high school, college and graduate school. I have read more books than I ever knew existed...some of them twice. I have a job that I love and am loved by those around me. I have an open mind and an open heart. I have written a play and a half. I have worked for four days in a donut factory. Maybe this should be enough.

1 comment:

Jennifer said...

How I relate...I am constantly thinking about something more:a better job, a nicer apartment, wondering "What is the next step?"

I think you have done pretty well for yourself. You have grad school and the donut factory. I don't have either of those.